


The Grieving Process

by Katiebug586



Category: Braceface (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Death, Friendship, Grief, Loss, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:21:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25076050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiebug586/pseuds/Katiebug586
Summary: Just as Sharon's life is going, well, normal, a horrible tragedy strikes that leave her grappling with her own grief, depression and emotions.
Kudos: 2





	The Grieving Process

One seemingly normal day, Sharon and Maria were walking to school. The weather was nice and warm, the birds were chirping, it seemed peaceful and quiet. However, there was one problem.

“Have you seen Connor?” Sharon asked, observing the area around them for any sign of their hypochondriac friend. “Maybe he wanted to walk with Alyson today.”

“Nah, I heard he got the flu or something, which is like  _ totally _ gross,” Maria replied, before smugly grinning. “Besides, what about Alden and you? Why aren’t  _ you two _ walking together? You guys  _ are _ a couple.”

“Well, what about Brock? You’re his boyf-” Sharon began, only to get playfully elbow jabbed in the stomach. “Ow! Maria! I’m only stating the obvious! Still, the flu? Poor guy, I hope he feels better soon. It’s definitely more interesting with him around.”

“You can say that again. But I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Shar. I’m sure he’ll be feeling better in a week tops. It’s  _ just the flu, after all.” _

With that, the two best friends entered their high school, ready for another day of well, teenage drama and angst. After all, what else could be expected to happen? 

Sharon fidgeted in her seat, trying to pay attention to the teacher’s boring talk about the planets and their key components. Every time she  _ tried _ to focus, her mind would wander back to Connor. How was  _ he _ doing? He wasn’t in class, but if he had the flu, then it’d be pretty easy to figure out why he was absent. Perhaps she could bring him his homework, she knew he’d appreciate it, he was always a hard worker, sickness or not. Still, he was  _ always _ down with  _ some _ kind of illness, it seemed.

Maria also seemed to be rather uneasy and whenever Sharon was able to take a gander at her friend, she could see them fidgeting and looking just as uncomfortable as she was. Why was such anxiety being felt by them? Was it about Connor? He wasn’t that sick, sure, the flu sucked, but if given lots of bed rest, he’d get better in no time! So, what was the big deal?

And of course, it wasn’t like their classmates weren’t being their typical foolish selves, especially Brock, who made it his sworn duty to ask the  _ worst _ questions to the teacher, trying to challenge the mindset of there being ‘No such thing as a stupid question’. Needless to say, he was succeeding and testing the teacher’s patience.

“And to answer Brock’s unique question, that is why we can not walk on the sun, not even during the night. Because,  _ Leighton _ , day and night is only an earth thing. Space does not know or care about the concept of light and darkness and as such, can not be affected by-”

The teacher’s ‘explanation’ was cut short by the phone ringing. With a disgruntled sigh, they picked it up? “Hello? I’m in the middle of a lecture right- Oh. I see, very well. I will send them down in a moment.”

Putting down the phone, they turned towards two certain students. “Miss. Spitz and Miss. Wong, you are needed down by the office. They didn’t say what for, but they said it was an ‘urgent and pressing matter’.”

_ “Somebody’s in trouble!” _ Brock stated in a mocking tone, high-fiving Alden. Boys, they would never change, would they? 

Sharon and Maria exchanged confused and rather worried glances towards each other, but nevertheless grabbed their stuff and headed out the door. Behind them, several students groaned over the fact the two were let out early, but they would soon learn this was no laughing matter.

Down the hall, Sharon’s day went from bad to worse upon seeing her mom. While she loved her dearly, her own mother being there usually meant more trouble for her, in some way or form. “Hi… mom. What are you doing here, during a school day?”

“Sharon, there you are!” Helen hugged Maria and her tightly, not wasting any time. “I’m glad you asked. It’s… It’s your friend, Connor. He’s in the hospital and the last update I got from his mom was that he isn’t exactly doing so great.”

“What?! Is he okay?!” 

“I don’t know, Sharon, honestly,” Her mom seemed rather disheveled and nervous, which was unlike her. “I just know it’s serious. I couldn’t stand the thought of knowing and either not telling you until after school or telling you and  _ keeping _ you  _ in school. _ It wouldn’t be right.”

“I understand, mom.”

At the hospital, Sharon continued to fidget in her seat, but this time because she was actually worried sick for Connor’s sake and not out of restlessness that was common with long and boring classes.

_ ‘I was really worried about Connor. I didn’t know what was wrong with him, but with the way my mom was acting, it couldn’t be anything good. But if he was here, then he was going to get better, right?’ _

A female doctor stepped out of one of the doors, a solemn expression on her face as she approached the three, carrying a notepad of some kind. “I hear you’re here to see Connor Mackenzie, is that correct?”

“Yes! He’s okay now, right?”

The doctor looked at Sharon, letting out a deep sigh. “Well, we know what’s wrong with him. He came in late last night very ill and delusional. After running a few tests, we figured out he had meningitis, a rare but deadly disease of the spinal cord and brain. Unfortunately, it was too late to do anything for him. I’m sorry, but…  _ he’s gone.”  _

“Gone?!” Sharon asked, panic rising in both her mood and tone of voice. “You mean… He’s… He’s…”

“He’s dead, Sharon.” Maria said, wiping a single tear out of her eye. 

_ ‘Dead? He couldn’t be dead! He was fine *just* last week! Sure, he was a little sick, but… *dead?* That… No, not Connor!’ _

“NO!” Sharon found herself shouting out. Jumping up, she glared knives at the doctor. “Listen here, I don’t know  _ what _ medical school you went to, but my best… my best friend is n-not dead! There must be a mistake, please!”

“Ma’am, I’m really sorry,” The doctor’s voice was hoarse as she tried to explain the situation to the heartbroken girl. “We tried everything we could to save him, but it was just too much for his body to handle. Meningitis is a very serious and oftentimes deadly disease, it can  _ kill in under a day.” _

The words ‘kill in under a day’ repeated over and over again in Sharon’s mind, the harsh reality crashing down on her. Shaking her head, she felt tears slip down her face, wetting the ground below her. Maria was also crying as well, but she was not nearly as distressed, getting up and trying to comfort her friend. “Sharon, Connor’s-”

“Don’t tell me you believe these people too!” She snapped back around, barking at her friend, who was quick to recoil. “They, they…-”

Meanwhile, Helen tried to comfort her daughter. “Honey, I’m really sorry, but... “

Sharon couldn’t take it anymore and bolt out of the waiting room and out of the hospital. Her friend jumped back into action upon seeing her take off, but Helen was quick to stop her, putting her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Let her go, she needs to have some time alone to cope with this new and frightening reality.”

_ ‘I didn’t exactly know where I was going, but I certainly wasn’t going back to school. To put it simple, I wanted to be alone and not exactly ‘At my house’ alone. The last thing I needed was any of my brothers to see me in such a state. Was Connor… actually not around anymore? I didn’t know what to think.’ _

Sharon peered down at the lapping water, wondering if she was truly alone to be with her thoughts. The pond was always a calm and serene place, giving her comfort when she needed it most and she  _ really _ needed it now. Connor wasn’t dead, those weird wackjobs at the hospital didn’t know what they were saying! And yet, they wouldn’t just  _ lie _ to people like that, would they? But that’d mean realizing her friend was dead, which just… didn’t seem possible.

_ “You sure it’ll float?” _

She heard an uncannily familiar voice and looked up, was she not as alone as she thought she was? But when her vision focused, she couldn’t help but gasp. There Connor was, but it wasn’t the one she remembered. He was much,  _ much _ younger, probably around seven or eight, and he was joined by a younger version of herself. Wait, she remembered this! This was when they built that little toy boat and tried to float it in the pond!

“Of course, silly! I built it, didn’t I?” Her younger self squeaked, holding up the mentioned boat and placing it in the water. Goodness, her voice was  _ so _ annoying back then, how could anybody stand to listen to her? Sharon  _ knew _ this memory by heart, but she was still confused on why it was happening right now in front of her, like some kind of weird time paradox.

The memory continued to play on and she found herself unable to look away from the sight. The boat, as ‘floaty’ as her younger self made it out to be, quickly sank under the water and the young girl tried to fish it out, rather peeved with her failure. However, she lost her balance and fell into the pond, getting soaking wet.

“I wouldn’t call that a success, I’m afraid,” Connor began to say before Child Sharon grabbed and pulled him into the water with her. “Hey! This pond is filthy, mind you!”

“Then we get filthy, together!”

It quickly turned into a splashing war as the two kids had endless amounts of fun, before they disappeared, right before the current Sharon’s eyes. Was that all a weird hallucination? It seemed so vivid, so lifelike.

She let out a deep sigh and turned away. But as she did, another hallucination memory played out of the younger Connor and her. This time, they were playing with a kite, Connor trying to explain how the wind aerodynamics worked and all that complicated junk. 

But like the other, it disappeared, leaving a hollow and depressed Sharon to ponder about life as she laid on her back, staring up at the same sky two very best friends used to play under.

_ ‘Laying under the sky and reliving memories, I realized the truth. Connor… Connor was dead and there was nothing I could do about it. Why? Why did this have to happen?’ _

Tears began rolling down her face and onto the grass as the world and everything bad about it seemed to crash down on her in one fellow swoop of pure awfulness.

Returning back home a few hours later, her mental anguish only increased tenfold upon seeing her brothers, doing what they usually did. Josh was practicing his piano playing skills and Adam was doing some push-ups. When they saw her, however, they immediately got up from their respective positions, a look of panic written on their faces.

“S-Sharon! What are you doing… here?” Adam gulped out, trying to find the right words to say to her.

_ “I live here.” _

“Oh, right…” Josh punched him in the side, silently telling his big brother to choose his next words very carefully. “Ow, Josh! What?!”

The youngest child of the family pointed to Sharon. “You know, her boy friend?”

“Alden?”

_“No,”_ Josh snapped back, irritated. “I meant Connor, her friend that happens to be a boy! I didn’t want to mention his name and make Sharon all upset but I expected you to say _something_ _comforting_ to her and not just ‘What are you doing here?’ like some kind of _doofus_ and- I made this worse, didn’t I?”

Sharon groaned and pushed past the two, simply wanting nothing more than to go to her room.  _ “You guys are the worst.” _

_ ‘A few days later, I finally found the strength to return to school. Granted, it took a lot of convincing from my mom that I was ready, but I didn’t want to miss out on any more work. Even worse, Connor’s funeral was *tomorrow,* though I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Still, was I *really* ready? Even walking to school with Alden couldn’t make me feel any better.’ _

The walk to school was long and awkward, but Alden did try to have some small talk with his girlfriend, though she was hardly responsive. But who could really blame her for being so down? Losing a friend, especially a best friend, was rough, who knows what he’d do without Brock around, and he only knew Brock for one-fourth of the time Sharon knew Connor!

“Hey, Sharon, look!” Alden pointed to a red bird that was rather fat despite its small size, pecking at the ground and searching for a wormy meal. “It’s a cardinal. My dad told me that when you see one of those, it means that a lost loved one is watching over you! Pretty neat, huh?”

“Oh, that’s… That’s nice, Alden. Really nice.” Flashing an unconvincing half-smile at her boyfriend, she hung her head, clearly wanting to continue their walk in silence. Alden  _ knew _ his girlfriend was hurting, but he just didn’t know how to make her feel better.

_ ‘I wanted to be interested, but… I just couldn’t be. I still felt like Connor’s death was my fault, hanging over me like a dark cloud of guilt. I know thinking like that is improbable, I wasn’t the one who had got him sick, but if I had just *known* he had what he did, perhaps I could’ve got him to the hospital on time. Still, it wasn’t technically any more *my* fault than anyone else’s, I… I just didn’t know what to think!’ _

In the ladies’ bathroom, Sharon absentmindedly stares at her face, taking in all the features and desperately trying to think of anything that  _ wasn’t _ Connor. At least she had Maria with her to make her feel less… lonely.

“So,” Maria said, staring at different shades of lipstick. “What do you think? Sarah Kate said that fuchsia is all the rage right now, but I’m not too sure, I was thinking maybe something like burgundy.”

Sharon looked away from her reflection and up towards her friend. “Why do you care what Sarah Kate says? Just do you.”

“Burgundy it is then.” 

Before the girl could apply her chosen lipstick, the door to the bathroom opened and in stepped the devil herself, Nina Harper. “Nina has arrived.”

“What do you want?”

“Ah-ah,” The drama queen said, waving her finger in front of Maria. “I’m not here to see you, unfortunately. I’m here to speak to a certain  _ someone _ about a certain  _ tragedy _ that has befallen them just a couple of days ago!”

“So, Braceface,” Nina sneered, getting uncomfortably close to Sharon’s face. “I heard the horrible news on ‘The Walking Sneeze’. Such a tragedy, isn’t it? To die at such a young age, having done  _ nothing _ with your life. But I doubt that even  _ if _ Connor lived to be a hundred and seventy, he’d still wouldn’t have done anything with his life. Unlike  _ me, _ of course.”

“Buzz off,” Sharon spat out, baring her teeth. “Connor was way more of an important person than ‘The Walking Sneeze’ or whatever you like to call him.  _ He was my best friend.” _

“Is that so? I bet Connor would like to hear you say that, oh wait, that’s right, he can’t. The poor boy is going to be six feet under starting tomorrow. Forget ‘The Walking Sneeze’, call him ‘The Walking  _ Dead’. _ ”

“Listen up, Harper,” The girl growled, walking forward and cornering Nina against the wall. “I’m getting real  _ sick _ of your insensitivity to others and honestly, I don’t know what is holding me back from punching you square in the jaw.”

“Sharon!” Maria gasped. Was she  _ really _ about to resort to violence over this?

“But, I consider myself a kindhearted and respectful person, so I just  _ hope _ you remember this day and  _ don’t _ push your luck. Because I’m  _ done.” _

Sharon stepped back, allowing Nina to leave. For a few seconds, it was silent before the girl finally got the courage to move, clearly intimidated, but trying not to show it. “...You… I… I got to go. Magazine photoshoot, the usual. Also, I’m sorry for your loss, bye.”

With that, Nina quickly moved out of the bathroom, leaving only a confident Sharon and a gobsmacked Maria. “What… was that?”

“Oh, Maria! I honestly have no what came over me. I was just so  _ furious _ at her… I… I wouldn’t hurt Nina, it just slipped out of my mouth.”

“I think I know what the problem is,” Maria began, putting her arm around Sharon. “You’re going through the grieving process.”

“The grieving process?” The latter asked, rather confused. “What’s that? I mean, I’ve heard my mom speak about it once or twice, like after my grandmother died, but I never really took the time to read into it.”

“It’s rather complicated,” Sharon’s friend explained, trying to find the right words. “Basically, when someone goes through some kind of tragedy, their mood changes. It’s normal for someone to be sad and angry at first, but then eventually, it turns to acceptance.”

“What if I  _ don’t _ want to accept Connor’s dead?!” Sharon snapped back, returning to her hostile temperament. “You think I’ll just act like a statistic? I’ll one day wake up and be like, he’s dead, oh well, who cares, this is  _ my _ life?!”

“That’s not what I meant-”

“Then what  _ did _ you mean? Ugh, whatever. Maybe I’ll just mourn Connor forever, nobody can stop me!” The grief-stricken girl turned around, racing out of the bathroom.

“Sharon, you can’t just-” Maria began, but saw her friend was long gone. “Oh, forget it.”

The end of the day fast approached for poor Sharon and she quickly walked herself down the school steps, hoping she didn’t run into Maria, not after such an awful outburst like that. What was  _ wrong _ with her? Sure, she was in a lot of pain, but that didn’t mean she had to go and-

“Hey, Sharon, wait up!” 

Seeing her aforementioned friend walking up to her, Sharon put on her most convincing smile, trying to not seem awkward. “Hey, Maria! I’m sorry about-”

“We need to talk to you about something.” Before she could ask her friend who this  _ we _ was, Alyson popped out of nowhere, looking like a depressed and saddened mess. “It’s about Connor.”

“When it is  _ not _ about Connor?”

“We were uh…” Alyson fumbled over the words, anxiety washing over her. “Just going to say, maybe you should skip going to the funeral?”

_ “What?!” _ Out of all the things she expected the two to say to her, this was  _ not _ one of them. Didn’t they know how important Connor was to her? Obviously not, if they were trying to jip her out of going to such an important event. “I… I can’t believe you would say that!”

“Let me explain,” Now it was Maria’s turn to talk, though there was no way she was going to be able to explain her way out of this one. “You’ve been… a mess, let me just put it that way. Even more than Alyson. I know what you’re going through and it’s difficult, but if you’re acting like this to even _minor_ annoyances like say, for example, Nina, maybe it’ll be best for the both of us if you don’t go.”

“Oh, yea?! Well, Connor would come to my funeral if  _ I _ was the one  _ dead!  _ Besides, you’d all come too, right?” Panting, she looked back towards the two, who nervously nodded in unison. “See? I’m going and you can’t make me change my mind!”

“But Sharon,” Maria got up next to her, pouting. “You knew Connor  _ way _ before any of us knew  _ either _ of you, we’re just trying to help! You must be really devastated over everything and-”

“I  _ am _ devastated, Maria,” Sharon growled, trying to keep her anger and tears in check. “Nobody here can even  _ begin _ to understand the pain I’m in. But what about Alyson? She’s his stinking  _ girlfriend! _ Or rather,  _ was _ his girlfriend.”

Alyson squeaked, fiddling with her fingers. “I… Uhm, that  _ is _ true, but we were only together for around 1 year, 9 months, and 28 days-”

“Woah, she’s been keeping track?!” Maria asked, surprised.

“But the point is, like what Maria said, you’ve known him for  _ so _ much longer! Instead of almost 2 years, you’ve known him for around… 14 years, 6 months, and 21 days.”

“Okay, how.”

“It’s just a guesstimate, since Sharon’s a Virgo and Connor’s a Capricorn, well,  _ was.”  _ Alyson put extra emphasis on the was, playing with how Sharon called her ‘Conner’s  _ was _ girlfriend’.

Meanwhile, the latter could honestly not care about Maria and Alyson’s squabble and turned around, preparing to leave. “I don’t care what you say, I’m going to that funeral! It’s the least I can do for him!”

“It’s the least you can do for  _ him, _ but what about the least you can do for  _ yourself _ ?”

Maria’s words made Sharon turn around for a quick second, before shaking her head and continuing her way back home.

_ ‘I know what Maria meant, but what about myself? I’ll be fine, honestly, It was just one funeral. Still, it was also the *biggest* funeral of my life, for a *lot* of reasons. Could I *actually* handle myself there or was Maria… right?’’ _

Later that night, Sharon sat out on the roof, thinking to herself as she absentmindedly counted all the stars in the midnight sky.

“Hey sis,” A sudden voice broke her out of her thoughts, making her turn around. Seeing it was only Adam, she scoffed, clearly not enjoying his company all that much. “What’s with you? You’ve been acting, you know, moody.”

“Have you been living under a  _ rock?! _ ” She snapped, causing her big brother, who was big in both physical  _ and _ age terms, to jerk away in surprise.

“Uh, no I haven’t,” He responded, sliding himself into a more comfortable position. “I just didn’t want to patronize you like everyone else has been. I know how close you two were, and I wanted to comfort you a few days ago, but I just couldn’t find the right words, you know I’m not good with those. Point is, I was trying to take your mind off of it instead of just saying ‘Sorry for your loss’ or ‘Are you sure you want to go to his funeral, tomorrow?’.”

“How do you know about that?”

“Your friend, Maria, might’ve tipped me off about that.”

“Maria!” She growled. Of  _ course _ Maria would tell people about everything  _ personal _ going on in Sharon’s life! This must’ve been some elaborately-thought out revenge for reading her diary all the way back in 8th grade!

“She’s concerned about you, she’s just trying to help. I think everyone is, though I  _ know _ you’re sick of the sympathy and pity-parties by now.”

“Your gosh darn right I am! Though I do suppose Maria has a right to be concerned, being my  _ last remaining _ best friend and all. Also, I think you’re great with words, just when you actually  _ think _ before you say them.”

“You do?” Adam shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. “Listen, I’ve been meaning to tell you that-”

“Let me guess, you’re going to tell me I shouldn’t go to the funeral too,” She groaned, getting ready for another earload of the same stuff she’s been told over and over by now. “Just get it over with.”

“No, no, you really should go, one-hundred percent,” Wait, was Adam saying what Sharon  _ thought _ she was saying? “I mean, I know if I say ‘don’t go’ you’ll go anyways, but I just  _ want _ to make sure you’re  _ okay _ with this or at the very least,  _ will  _ be.”

“Of course I’ll... Wait, as a matter of fact, can I ask you a question that’s been bugging me ever since this whole thing started?”

“You just did.”

Seeing his sister’s death glare, he backed up against the bedroom window. “Sheesh, chill out! Fine, fine, ask away.”

“What’s the point of all this living junk if we just die in the end anyway?” While the sea of stars in the sky would’ve usually calmed Sharon’s mood down, tonight they seemed to only serve one purpose; to mock her, holding the answers of life to which she sought farther and farther away from her grasp. “It just seems completely pointless in the end.”

“Good question,” Her brother said, unusually deep in thought for what she assumed was an often dull and uninteresting mind. “I’d say that our goal in life would be to change the world for our children and make it more of an enjoyable place for them than it was for us.”

“But what if you don’t  _ have _ any kids? Doesn’t that just render your rather good point completely moot? I stand my case, what’s the point?”

“Dang, where did emo Sharon come from? Either way, what about your friends and family, and  _ their _ kids? Somebody  _ has  _ to have a kid or two. Didn’t your friend have a cousin?”

“Cousin Ethan. But what if you don’t  _ do _ anything?”

“I wouldn’t sweat it. Like, sure, it’s a waste of a life, no offense,” Adam caught himself, seeing his sister’s peeved look at the mere mention of Connor ‘wasting his life’, but nonetheless continued his speech. “But who knows? You might get to go around again.”

_ “How?!” _

“Like, reincarnation? At least that’s what I believe in, It all really boils down to personal opinion and belief.”

Adam’s words made Sharon stop and think for a second. “You mean Connor’s still out there, living another life? I guess it does sound kinda nice for him to get another chance at this stuff, but what about us? He won’t remember all the fun times we had together or everything Maria and I taught him, right?”

“Come on, sis. Just because he might not exactly remember those so-called fun times, doesn’t mean they didn’t happen. Besides, he’ll be able to make new friends and new memories.”

She let out a sigh, accepting her brother’s words. “You’re right. I just hope he’s happy, wherever he is.

“I’m sure he is, Sharon, I’m sure he is.” 

Before Adam could say anything else, a small but noticeable light erupted in the sky, trailing downwards. “Hey, it’s one of those shooting star thingies! Make a wish!”

She nodded, concentrating. “I wish that the rest of my friends have long and fulfilling lives and that we all remain close friends for ten million eternities. What about you? What did you wish for?

“Woah, that’s a  _ lot _ of eternities,” Her brother commented, before looking away sheepishly. “I just wished for… uh… a really nice sandwich, nothing too fancy.”

Sharon smiled and rolled her eyes.

_ ‘Adam’s speech made me realize something, which is crazy because he’s Adam! While it might not have been much, it did make me feel better about the situation. Besides, maybe that shooting star wasn’t just a coincidence, maybe it was Connor trying to say goodbye since he wasn’t able to in the living world!’ _

The funeral was going as well as any funeral went. It wasn’t exactly one of the grandeur and expensive kinds, but it served its purpose well enough to honor Connor and his life. There was a surprising amount of people gathered there as well, some that Sharon had never even  _ seen,  _ though they clearly loved Connor a lot if they were willing to come all the way to Elkford.

Speaking of family members that she  _ did _ have a chance to meet, Sharon turned towards Connor’s cousin, baby Ethan, who was babbling nonsensically in his Aunt’s arms, not having a single care in the world.

_ ‘I wish I could be like Cousin Ethan, look at him! He doesn’t know what’s going on at all! He probably doesn’t know why everyone’s so sad, either.’ _

As she thought this, Ethan glanced at his mother, who was comforting Connor’s very distraught mom, with an expression of confusion before turning back towards the ground, continuing to squeal happily. Oh, the naive days of babyhood.

Her friends were here as well, of course, but she didn’t really try to talk to them, the conflict from yesterday still boiling over in her mind. She knew they were only trying to look after her, but it didn’t take rocket science to know that  _ she _ shouldn’t have been so rude to them!

Sharon glanced towards the casket, which was closed, thank goodness, she didn’t know if she could handle seeing Connor’s cold and dead corpse. Letting a few tears run down her face, she walked over and laid her head on the casket. “I… I k-know you’re not here right now, but I… I miss you. But, you’ll… you’ll be okay, wherever you are, I can promise you that. I just have to accept we probably won’t see each other for a while, huh?”

She was jerked out of her heartfelt speech by the static feed from a microphone being turned on. The funeral director walked up to it and Sharon couldn’t help but think of something that made her smile.

_ ‘I remember when Adam was a funeral director, based on what he told me, he was *horrible* at it! Thinking about these things actually made me feel a little bit better.’ _

“It pains me to see another young and eager life taken away so suddenly,” The director began, a tone of sorrow in his voice. “However, despite the fact that this young man’s life was tragically cut short, it’s apparent that he has made an impact on a  _ lot _ of us gathered here today. If anyone has anything they’d like to say, feel free to come up here.”

_ ‘Everyone started sharing their own memories of Connor. Some were silly, some were embarrassing, and some were just plain gross! Still, as everyone talked, I kept thinking about what my brother said. I know that I’m the ‘Too sad about her friend dying and that she should just stay home’ girl, but perhaps I should say something?’ _

“I’ll go!” She suddenly found herself saying as everyone, including one of Connor’s cousins who was finishing up his story, turned to gaze at her. “I have something to say too!’

“Sharon?” Maria asked, staring at her friend from the crowd. “What are you doing?”

“I said I’d come,” The braced girl teased, pulling herself up onto the stage. “And I figured since I’ve known Connor since I was a baby, I should have a say as well.”

“Connor’s book might have ended,” She began and while many expected her to run off the stage crying hysterically, Sharon Spitz kept her composure and continued. “But that doesn’t mean his story has ended! He can make new memories, in a  _ new _ book, and even though we might not be in them, it doesn’t… it doesn’t mean  _ our _ book we made with Connor never happened-”

“I taught her that!” Adam beamed.

“It only means that when we feel sad, we just need to reread the old stories and remember that Connor is safe somewhere, even if we can’t be with him at this very moment. We’re doing this right now, aren’t we? We’re sharing stories and jokes about our dearly beloved family member and friend, remembering everything he’s done in his short but valuable lifetime. Thank you for listening.” She finished the eulogy, stepping off the podium as everyone in the audience began to clap, bedazzled by her simply jawdropping speech.

Her mom hugged her tightly. “Oh, baby, that was amazing. I doubt even  _ I _ could think of something so profound! How did you ever think of such a perfect metaphor?”

Sharon glanced towards Adam, winking. “I had a really nice person to talk to over the matter.”

“Whatever the case is, I’m  _ so _ proud of you.”

Maria and Alyson ran up to her as well. “Wow, Sharon! That was actually really good! Alyson and I were  _ totally _ betting on you bailing, but you… you actually pulled it off! Maybe… Maybe we were wrong about you. We didn’t give you enough credit with how you deal with grief and kept on trying to keep you from something really important. I think I can say for both of us that an apology is in order.”

“Thanks, Maria, but you don’t have to apologize. Like, I know how important this was to me, but I shouldn’t have blown you off like that, either. You were just worried about me, so if it means anything, I’m sorry too.”

“How about we put all of this behind us?” Alyson spoke, tenderly. “Grief is really messy to deal with and it makes us act irrationally, even if we don’t mean to.”

Maria smiled, hugging the two. “Sounds good to me, now, you guys wanna grab something to eat? I’m starving.”

“I hope they have tofudogs.”

_ ‘Connor’s gone, I just have to accept that, it seems. I was in denial, then anger, then depression, but now, while I’m still pretty sad about it, I know that it can only get better from here on out. After all, once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up, right?’ _


End file.
